Insane Fairytale: Little Red Riding Hood
by Yutaka-chan
Summary: Warning: DO NOT LAUGH TILL YOUR HEAD FALLS


Characters:

Little Red Riding Hood: Ran

Wolf: Schuldig

Granny: Crawford

Woodsman: Farfie

Crew:

Director: Well, that's me

Manager: Saber Tooth

Producer: A

Characters view of their characters:

Ran: SHI NE!!!!! 'starts swinging katana' I'm not going to play a small girl who gets chased by a friggin wolf! 'starts chasing crew'

Yutaka: What can we do? You've got red hair so you fit nicely!

Saber Tooth: My thoughts exactly

Ran: I'M NOT GOING TO ACT IN A RED FRILLY DRESS!!!!!

Schuldig: Oh yeah, I'm the big bad wolf! Perfect for me

A: Looks. Perfect for your looks.

Schuldig: 'frowns'

Crawford: I would appreciate the fact that I am not the granny playing sick.

Yutaka: Unfortunately, the characters you play are under our decision, so you have to act as the old granny or get a pay cut.

Farfie: I'm going to hurt god in killing the wolf… 'snickers'

Schuldich: Anything but the wolf! I'll play the girl, but not the wolf!!!! Save me!!!!!

Ran: I'd be glad to do the same.

Yutaka, Saber Tooth, A: Not on our life! Now get going and change!

Now, the story:

**One sunny day, Little Red Riding Hood was trotting in the woods…**

Ran: Wait, I have to trot? Are you kidding me?

Crew: Do it or you'll suffer

Ran: Make me.

'machine gun pops out and starts shooting at Ran's feet'

Ran: Argh! Stop that!!! I'll do it!

**And humming a song…**

Ran: Now I have to sing?

Crew: Ten prcent pay cut.

Ran: Jeez… 'monotone' la la la

**While she was on her way down to her Granny's house to deliver some cookies she made. **

Ran: I bake cookies? Oo

Crew: No, you don't. Those are just some of the butter cookies we found in the tin on some person's table, so just follow the script and stop cutting in.

_Somewhere else, person: Hey! Who took my cookies?!?_

**She was passing by a woodsman who was busy chopping wood. The woodsman saw her and said:**

Farfie: Be careful of God's wolf…heh, heh

Ran: 'sweat drops' I think I'll be careful of you instead… 'walks off'

**Unknowingly, she was being watched by the wolf who decided he would eat her. When Little Red Riding Hood reached a fork road, the wolf appeared.**

Schu: Hello! Are you visiting your Granny who lives in the forest?

**As the little girl did not know what a wolf looked like, she replied him.**

Ran: Yes.

**It was then the wolf had an evil plan.**

Schu: Here, see this road? It leads up to the hills where there are many pretty flowers your Granny would like. You should go pick them.

Ran: Are you crazy? I want to get over and done with this stupid thing and you tell me to go up there and pick flo… 'gets hit by a shoe' ow… Alright I'll go pick the flowers. No thank you. 'walks towards hill'

Schulig: This is really getting no where…

**So, as Little Red Riding Hood did not know that she was tricked, she headed up the hills while the big bad wolf went to Granny's house. He opened the door and snuck towards the sick grandmother on the bed.**

Crawford: It's hard to play this role when you know you're going to get eaten.

Schuldig: Hey, I'd rather not eat you up cause you taste like shit

Crawford: 'box Schuldig'

Crew: 'throws two shoes at them'

**All of the sudden the wolf gobbled the poor old lady in one gulp.**

Schu: Just how am I supposed to swallow Brad? He's a hundred times the size of my mouth.

Crew: Um… just put him in the closet…

**So the wolf 'ate' Granny and took her clothes and dressed up. He laid on the bed and wait for the unsuspecting girl.**

Ran: Oh I'm expecting alright.

Crew: What? A kid?

Ran: SHUDDAP!

**A short while later Little Red Riding Hood came knocking at the door.**

Schuldig: Come in…

**Then, the young girl came skipping into the room with a basket in one hand and flowers in the other.**

Ran: I brought some stolen cookies and illegally picked flowers.

Schuldig: 'sweat drops'

**It was the Little Red Riding Hood noticed something wrong with her Granny.**

Ran: 'monotone' My, Granny, what huge eyes you have.

Schuldig: All the better to see you with.

Ran: My, Granny, what huge ears you have.

Schuldig: All the better to hear you with my child.

Ran: My, Granny, what a HUGE mouth you have 'snickers'

Schulidg: Hey, was that an insult? Anyway, all the better to eat you with!!! 'glomps Ran'

Ran: Wait, what am I supposed to do now?

**Little Red Riding Hood screamed when the wolf attacked her.**

Ran: Scream what? SHI NE!!! 'gets hit by shoe again'

Crew: Keep that up and the crew will run out of shoes to throw!

Ran: 'grumbles' Ah…..

**Upon hearing the scream, the woodman entered the room. **

Farfie: Come here little wolfie… 'licks knife'

Schuldich: Mein Gott! Get that thing away from me!!!! 'gets chased by Farfie'

Crawford: Well, punishments are always present to wrongdoers.

Ran: You don't say…

**In the end, the big bad wolf was chased away** (and still being chased) **and Little Red Riding Hood had the cookies to herself. **

Person: THAT'S MY COOKIES!!!! GIMME BACK!!!!

Crew: Cut! Play done! We shall move on to Princess and the Pea next! Cha ha!


End file.
